


don't know when i'll be back again

by bikarma (zcinmalik)



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cheesy, Corny, Everyone Leaves Derry, M/M, Mike Hanlon & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, Mike Hanlon Deserves Better, Mike Hanlon Deserves Love, Mike Hanlon Deserves Nice Things, Mike Hanlon-centric, Mike-Centric, Protective Stanley Uris, Protectiveness, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 10:07:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21097703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zcinmalik/pseuds/bikarma
Summary: “One of us is supposed to stay,” Mike says, trying to force a calm he doesn’t feel into his voice.[Mike: I'm going to sacrifice myself by staying in Clown Town while the rest of you get to escapeStan: Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope]





	don't know when i'll be back again

“One of us is supposed to stay,” Mike says, trying to force a calm he doesn’t feel into his voice. He’s sitting at his desk, flipping through a textbook with a faux casual air that he knows isn’t fooling Stan for an instant. 

“_No one _ is staying,” Stan counters. When Mike glances up, it’s to the sight of Stan staring at him– almost _ through _ him, it feels like, because the look is so intense– with his arms crossed over his chest. At eighteen, Stan’s shoulders have broadened, he’s cropped his hair a bit shorter (though it maintains its natural, lovely curls, to Mike’s secret relief), and he’s an embarrassingly three inches taller than Mike. The difference in height is only compounded when Mike sits as he is now, but he can’t bring himself to stand up and allow this to become the conversation that part of him knows it’s going to become. 

“It makes the most sense,” Mike says, glancing down as he sets the book back on the desktop. Minutely, his fingers tremble, and he quickly drops his hands into his lap, unsure if Stan has already noticed. “I need to be here anyway for my grandpa, you know he needs my help with the farm.” 

What Mike doesn’t say, because it doesn’t really need to be said, is that with Stan leaving for college out of state and Stan’s parents taking the opportunity to move away at the same time, Mike will be the last one left. By default, he thinks, it just has to be him; and shouldn’t he have known, on some level, that it would always have to be him? He’s the outsider. He just has to stay, and that’s fine, because– 

Stan takes two steps forward, dropping his hands to press against the desktop, firm and implacable but never angry.

“Mike,” he says, and Mike looks up again into Stan’s eyes. They are so beautiful in this moment, and Mike can’t help but wonder how long it will be until he gets to see them again. 

“I am _ not _ leaving you here,” Stan says, and Mike shakes his head even as he has to glance away from the intensity of Stan’s gaze. He stands and walks around the desk to busy himself with adjusting the small plant in his window. 

“You and I– Stan, you and I both know that they’ve all forgotten,” Mike finally says. “And…” 

God, but he doesn’t want to think about this, doesn’t want to say it. But that’s not going to change the fact that it’s happening. 

“When you leave,” he forces out, still unable to meet Stan’s eyes. “You will, too. That’s why I have to stay. If we all left, we’d all forget, and–” 

“Then let’s all forget!” Stan says, a hint of desperation tinting his voice for the first time. He covers the distance between them, standing next to Mike and staring at him so hard, Mike thinks he can almost feel his gaze. “What’s wrong with that, Mike? They’re all _ happy _ they forgot. They don’t want to remember, and neither do I, and neither do you.” 

“But I _ have to_,” Mike says, his heart starting to beat faster like it does whenever his grandpa gets mad at him or he can sense bullies or cashiers walking behind him in the grocery store. “Stan, just– You and I both know that It’s going to come back. And one of us has to be here to know when to bring the others back. And it has to be me, Stan, because…” 

He trails off, upset and tired and more miserable at the thought of Stan leaving than he thinks he could ever express. 

“Because why?” Stan says, soft but clear. He reaches out, touches Mike’s jaw gently, and turns his body to face Stan’s, tilting his face up. When Mike meets Stan’s gaze, he realizes that at some point, they both started crying. “Because you had the bad luck of being the only one left? Because you’re the only one who was willing to stay while the rest of us just conveniently forgot all about you?” 

“That’s not–” 

“That’s exactly the way that it would be, except that I’m _ not leaving you here_, Mike.” Stan’s touch is so warm that Mike can’t help but lean into it, and Stan lifts his other hand to run a thumb through the tears tracking down Mike’s cheek. Stan sniffles, then smiles. “I would… Mike, I would rather remember every horrible nightmare I’ve ever had than forget you.” 

Mike stares, his heart starting to go into overdrive, but Stan isn’t done. 

“I’d rather remember the smell of that shitty sewer than forget you,” he says. His eyes shine with feeling. “I’d rather remember every _ second _ of middle school than forget you, Mike.” 

And Mike leans up, covering the small remaining distance between them to pull Stan into a fevered kiss. Stan grips him as if afraid that Mike is going to disappear right out of his arms. His lips are soft, his mouth sweet, his arms like shields between them and the rest of the world. 

“I love you,” Mike gasps, and Stan mumbles it back through their kisses like a mantra. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you, Mike,” he says. “I’m never leaving you. Never.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Link on Tumblr](https://zeeyum.tumblr.com/post/188473801253/zeeyum-dont-know-when-ill-be-back-again)


End file.
